Call us  (808) 421-8855 * info@humore.us

Gunnison, Colorado

When Doves Cry

I just watched Supermench: The Legend of Shep Gordon (a Maui resident) and it’s a great movie. Shep is the manager for many a famous band back in the 1960s including Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Alice Cooper and Pink Floyd (for 9 days!) and Luther Vandross. Once of Shep’s best publicity stunts was intentionally breaking down a billboard truck at Picadilly Circus featuring Alice Cooper naked except for a large boa (not the feathery kind) the day of an Alice CoopAlice Cooper at Picadillyer show that had sold 50 of the 10,000 tickets at that point.  The driver was told not to start or move the truck under any circumstances and was told he would be taken care of if/when arrested. Long story short: they sold out.

I’m a fan of the musician Prince or the symbol for the musician Prince or the mind-thought he recently developed to telepathically represent his art-soul-music-spirit.  I kid.  At least I think I’m kidding as someone has probably thought of this gimmick.

Video: When Doves Cry

Ok so I lied but that video made me crack up. Prince has made some amazing music but I’ve always wondered about how his parents responded to the song “When Doves Cry” so I attempted to interview Rogers Nelson (Prince’s real name) and when he declined I fabricated this story.

He has been given 30 days to deny the accuracy of this story which took place in his parents dinner room in his home state of Minnesota between Vern, Prince’s Father and Edna, Prince’s motheer and Prince (Rogers Nelson).  Minnesotan translator available HERE.

Vern: Pass the lutefisk Rogers, will yah?

How do you tell if they've gone bad: lutefisk and kimchee.

How do you tell if they’ve gone bad: lutefisk and kimchee.

Prince: Dad! Please call me Prince.  I’m a Grammy winning performing artist.

Edna: You’ll always be Rogers to your ‘pa and me, don’t yah know.

Prince: Please Mother, I’m not the same boy anymore.

Vern: Hand me a notter scoop of the hot dish Edna.

Edna: Ya, ya Vern.  Rogers, you want more jello salad? I had a q-pon fer it so I made a whole slurdge.

Prince: [sighs] No ma.  I want to play a new song for you guys. [song plays]

“Animal strike curious poses, can’t you feel the heat the heat between me and you”

Vern: Oh-fer-geez Rogers what the heck does that mean?

Edna: Now Vern. That there is just his creative side.  He was always creative.

Vern: I wanted to make him play football but dun-chya-no you wanted him to play dem pianos and instruments.

Why waste words? It's a hot casserole dish aptly named hot dish.

Why waste words? It’s a hot casserole dish aptly named hot dish.

“Maybe I’m just like my father too bold…”

Vern: ‘Ofer the love of gawd!  We shoulda disaplint that boy!

Rogers go get me a switch.

Edna: Now Vern calm yerself.

“Maybe I’m just like mother. She’s never satisfied…”

Edna: Uffdah! What is this ishka Rogers?!?! Never satisfied? PAH!

Prince: You’ve never appreciated my music! [storms out of room]

Vern: HA! That’s a great line Rogers…I mean Prince.  J’ever hear something so accurate?

Edna: Why not write a song about your sister? The tramp!

Vern: Now Edna!

“This is what it sounds like when doves cry [oooo oooo]”

Edna: Or your sister Elsa, the drunk.  Dun cha know he rights aboot us instead. Fer the love a gawd. And that’s not even what it sounds like when a dove cries!

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *